9 Dangerous Clues That Your Boyfriend’s Female Friend Is MORE Than “JUST A FRIEND”

Even if your boyfriend has reassured you over and over again that his female friend is “just a friend”, there may be clues that their relationship skirts the danger zone of becoming something more. 1. He talks glowingly about her When he talks about her, you see his eyes glaze over with the look that you thought was reserved just for you. It’s the look your man gave you when you first met and fell in love. If you see that starry look in his eyes when he talks about her, danger may be lurking. 2. He runs to her with his problems You’re his girlfriend, and you expect to be his number one support person, yet, you find him calling her when issues arise. If he turns to her for emotional support, when he should be leaning on you, continue to watch for other disturbing clues. 3. He looks for opportunities to hang out with her…alone…without you If there’s always something that the two of them have to do together, alone, keep a watchful eye on their behavior. The reasons they may give you for their alone time could be to say that this is their friend thing, or that they’ve always done this together, and you can join them next time. There may be a next time, or there may not, but don’t be blindsided by a dramatic turn in your relationship where you find yourself alone…again and again. 4. You find her stuff in his apartment This is where your boyfriend tells you that he’s storing her things at his place because she ran out of storage space at her apartment. He may be just helping a friend out, but, beware if he’s helping “store” her pink toothbrush in his bathroom! 5. He’s there for her when

Read more

6 Reasons He WON’T Ask You Out On A Second Date

Do you want to secure a second date with that hot guy you’ve been excited to go out with? As taken from a sampling of single men in their 20’s and 30’s, here are 6 things that will land you in the “no-call zone” where you won’t be asked out a second time. 1. If you talk too much, don’t expect that “I’ll call you later” to be more than empty words, flippantly said to get away from you…never to return again. Yes! This was the first answer given by both age groups! So, if you have a naturally bubbly, outgoing personality, make sure you skip the caffeine before your first date. The last thing you want to do is to rev up your motor mouth, and kill the guy with word slaughter! Tone it down. Ask him questions. Let him talk. Keep your mouth shut. Listen. Make your conversation a two-way exchange and you’ll improve your chances for a second rendezvous. 2. Their Internet spying turned up some crazy, scary, dirt on you. If they haven’t Googled you or checked out your Facebook profile before your first date, you can be sure they will before your second. Doing their “research” on you was a hands-down, positively must-do, dating ritual for these men. They want to know all they can about you before they take things further, so expect to by spied on via the Internet. Also, expect that they will ask their friends about you. If they find out you’re a girl with a nasty, “slept with the whole football team” dating history, they will cancel out. That’s not the sort of “team sport” these good-guy-types are interested in. 3. They’re scared away by your troubled family. A first date isn’t the best time to tell them about your

Read more

9 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

When you’re new to a relationship, the flutter of attraction and romance can disguise the reality of the person you are dating. If you’re not paying attention to these 9 red flags, you could find yourself in a relationship with, not the person of your dreams, but the partner of your nightmares. The first 4 red flags focus on their past, their past, their past. 1. Past history of abuse. 2. Past history of addictions. 3. Past history of cheating. If you find out that your new love interest brought any one of these three things to their past relationships, you don’t have to look further for red flags. What you do have to do is honestly ask yourself if you are willing to be in a relationship where you will be abused, cheated on, or have to deal with their addiction. It’s not a matter of thinking that these things “might” affect you. They “will” affect you. The only hope for these 3 biggest red flags to turn from a big red “STOP!” sign, into a yellow “CAUTION!” sign, is if they readily accept personal responsibility and are actively working a program for change. While abuse, addictions and cheating can weave its way through a relationship in ways that aren’t always an absolute relationship deal breaker, the 4th red flag is undeniably problematic. 4. Past history of criminal activity. If you find out that the person you are dating has a criminal history and spent time in jail, you can assume they were guilty no matter what story they spin. That also holds true for any order of protection for stalking or domestic violence. In these instances, our legal system has done the work for you of determining this person has a serious red flag in their history. 5.

Read more

8 Reasons Good Girls Fall For Bad Boys

Why don’t you leave him? Why do you let him treat you so bad? These are the questions your friends and family may be asking you if you’re in a relationship with a bad boy who mistreats you, cheats on you, or just tears you down. If you yourself have begun to wonder why you stay, look for your answer in these 8 reasons good girls fall for bad boys. 1. They want a project boy Many good women see themselves as “fixers”. They want to fix their bad boy. They believe the “victim stories” these men have told them about why they’re broken, and these good women believe that with enough love and compassion they can help him change. What they don’t realize is that these “victim stories” can be a way for these men to deny responsibility for their bad behavior. 2. The martyr syndrome The women who has given all of herself to helping fix her bad boy, or to surviving his mean, cheating, lying ways, sees herself as helpless or trapped. She gains some psychological reward for being the victim. That, or her religious beliefs, where self-sacrifice is an honorable way to live, keeps her in a relationship that is clearly not good for her. 3. He reminds her of Dear Old Dad If your father was himself a bad boy or was emotionally unavailable, you’re more likely to fall for a bad boy in an attempt to right the wrong that was dealt you with a distant, cold, or mean father. This time around, you’re going to fix things and make your relationship right. 4. They’re ostriches living with their head in the sand Bury your head deep enough, and you can’t see what’s going on around you. These good girls deny just how bad

Read more

Dating Mr. Peter Pan

Mr. Peter Pan Never-Never wants to grow up and wants to live with you in his version of Never-Never Land where you are his Wendy (a.k.a momma) taking care of all the adult things he doesn’t have time for. What does he have time for? Hangin’ with his lost boys. While Mr. Peter Pan’s life is full of adventure and fun he can’t be counted on to take the adult lead in his life, much less be an adult partner to you, so don’t frustrate yourself and expect it. He’s Mr. Self-Involvement who has plenty of time for playing his way through life. He’s like the man my Life Coaching caller talked about who, in her words, “needs constant petting”. He’s Mr. High Maintenance who wants you to take care of him, organize his life, fix his problems, and in general “be his momma.” Dating him is like dating a 12 year old. You always have to be pointing him in the right direction. Do you want to mamma your man? If your man is a Peter Pan you’ll have the sense of feeling more like his parent and less like his partner. You’ll feel frustrated that he never seems to want to advance in his career and instead is complacent with a low level job. His priority isn’t work, it’s play. You’ll find yourself watching from the sidelines while he spends more time, energy, and money on his newer, bigger, better set of toys, than he does on you. He can’t even be counted on to pay his bills because his budget for toys takes precedence. Besides, momma will dig into her pocket and pay for those silly adult things. You’re no fun to play with, unless it’s “adult” playtime. You’ll watch your Peter Pan hang with his lost

Read more

If You’ve Fallen Out Of Love, Here’s How To Win Your Love Back

When the first blush of romance hits, it’s like you’re walking through life with your feet floating above ground. You glide through your days and nights, barely noticing what’s happening around you. All you feel is your new love, and life is perfect! Your friends see the change in you. They notice the doe-eyed, far-off look, or the giddy laughter when you talk about your new flame. Chances are, your besties will know that you’ve fallen in love before you do! Ahhhhh! Falling is love is such a sweet thing. We all hope those moments of bliss will last forever. But, they will not. While new love can turn into a steady-as-she-goes love that you can depend on, if your relationship has taken a turn from bliss to blistering, it’s time to work at winning your love back. Is this a love you want back First, determine what has happened in your relationship to disconnect you from each other. Familiarity, inattention, busy careers, differing interests, and parenting responsibilities can chip away at your love. Those you can deal with. However, the really tough stuff of infidelity, abuse, addictions and lies can set your relationship on a course of self-destruction. Whatever has caused your relationship to drift apart, before you can commit to bringing it back together, you need to make sure that’s what you want to, and need to do. If the distance in your relationship has been brought on by hurtful destructive patterns, you need to take a serious look at whether or not this relationship is good for you. If your relationship is all shades of dysfunctional, beware. Instead of trying to rekindle your love, yours is the type of relationship that needs a massive overhaul, or maybe even a permanent disconnect, because love isn’t supposed to hurt.

Read more

50 Shades Of Grey, Kinky Makes It To The Movies

If you haven’t yet read this steamy, sexy, erotic novel that introduced its readers to the BDSM lifestyle, all I can say is, “What have you been waiting for?” “The movie?” Well, wait no more as 50 Shades of Grey the movie is out this Valentines Day! British author, 48 year old Erika Leonard who writes under the pseudonym E.L. James, has described the “Fifty Shades” trilogy as her “midlife crisis” saying, “All my fantasies in there, and that’s it.” Erika shared her fantasies all right, and took millions of us along for the ride with sales now exceeding 100 million worldwide. In the books, Anastasia Steele, the nerdy and bumbling beautiful young college graduate has a chance meeting with the uber successful, young business prodigy Christian Grey. Grey, with his millions, sensual good looks and mysterious persona to go with it, is every woman’s fantasy. Women can’t keep their eyes off of him, and their lustful thoughts from wanting him, but his detached demeanor has prompted rumors that he is gay. The media has never captured a picture of him on a date. There are no date pictures of Grey, he doesn’t “date”, and he doesn’t “make love”, he just F***s, he F****s hard…and off to the “Red Room of Pain” the novel takes its readers. Before spending intimate, romantic time with Grey; excuse me, in keeping with the novels I mean to say, before spending time F-ing with Grey you will need to sign a NDA, Non-Disclosure Agreement; and, before spending time in the “Red Room of Pain”, you will need to sign a contract spelling out what your “hard” and “soft” limits are. “Hard limits” in BDSM are what you will not participate in within the confines of this form of sexual role-playing. Playing “Hard” is Grey’s preference, but oh,

Read more

Beautiful, Girly-Girl Lipstick Lesbian says “Men Won’t Leave Me Alone”

Marsella just wants respect. Yes, she’s a lesbian and comfortable in her own skin, but because she’s a beautiful, girly-girl lipstick lesbian, men won’t leave her alone. When she goes out with her straight female friends she doesn’t dress like a boy. That’s not her style. So, men will hit on her because she’s attractive and, shall we say, doesn’t look gay? Her femme style doesn’t scream lesbian, but why should it? Doesn’t she have the right to dress as she likes? The men hit on her, and when she tells them she’s gay she hears them say things like, “Are you sure?” or “Are you all the way gay, or are you Bi?” or “You’re too cute to be gay”. She says it sometimes gets comical when, after telling them five times she’s not interested, the guys still keep trying to come on to her. But then, at times things get creepy and annoying especially with the “creeper guys”, as she calls them, who won’t take “no” for an answer. She tries to be nice and not hurt their feelings because she doesn’t like confrontation. But, sometimes she feels like she’s being mean by rejecting the men she is not, and never will be, romantically interested in. Marsella’s story sends a powerful message for all women, straight or gay. If you’re not interested in a man’s advances, stand your ground. It is your right to say “no”. Don’t go inward and feel like you’re being “mean” for rejecting them. This is just the way the game of romance is played. Live stream Marsella’s story on “The Joan Jerkovich Show” Saturday 10.4.14 @6am CST on News Radio 1150 KSAL, or listen to the podcasts “Men Come On To Beautiful Lesbians” and “Lipstick Lesbians” which post Mondays @ JoanJerkovich.com The Joan

Read more

Dating Mr. Peter Pan

Mr. Peter Pan Never-Never wants to grow up and wants to live with you in his version of Never-Never Land where you are his Wendy (a.k.a momma) taking care of all the adult things he doesn’t have time for. What does he have time for? Hangin with his lost boys. While Mr. Peter Pan’s life is full of adventure and fun he can’t be counted on to take the adult lead in his life, much less be an adult partner to you, so don’t frustrate yourself and expect it. He’s Mr. Self-Involvement who has plenty of time for playing his way through life. He’s like the man my Life Coaching caller talked about who, in her words, “needs constant petting”. He’s Mr. High Maintenance who wants you to take care of him, organize his life, fix his problems, and in general “be his momma”. Dating him is like dating a 12 year old; you always have to be pointing him in the right direction. Do you want to mamma your man? If your man is a Peter Pan you’ll have the sense of feeling more like his parent and less like his partner. You’ll feel frustrated that he never seems to want to advance in his career and instead is complacent with a low level job; his priority isn’t work, it’s play. You’ll find yourself watching from the sidelines while he spends more time, energy, and money on his newer, bigger, better set of toys, than he does on you. He can’t even be counted on to pay his bills because his budget for toys takes precedence; besides, momma will dig into her pocket and pay for those silly adult things. You’ll watch your Peter Pan hang with his lost boys and wonder why he prefers to spend time with

Read more

Taking the “Sex” out of “Ex”

Why do people have affairs with their Ex?  Wasn’t there a good reason you broke up in the first place?  My Life Coaching caller “went there” and has lived to regret it.  Her penance?  Her current boyfriend, the one she cheated on, is connecting on Facebook looking for his own revenge hook up. It is said that the number one enticement people have for hooking up with the Ex is remembering their shared history.  I guess this means they remember the good stuff and not the crap that killed the relationship; and it sort of makes sense that you would be attracted to your Ex because they are familiar and caught your eye in the first place.  This is a sort of fantasy-land playing out in real life. There can be the fantasy thought that maybe your Ex has changed, and that all the nasty has magically been erased, and you can start back up with a clean slate.  Or, maybe you have never gotten over the fact that your Ex was your first real love ~ never mind that they destroyed that love with their drinking or abuse or cheating or general narcissism. Here’s a factoid for you:  60% of all hookups with an Ex are where one or both of the parties are married to someone else!  Cheaters-R-Us! Forbidden love and forbidden sex are a real turn on.  The rush of emotions fueled by the feel good chemicals that dump a rush of hormones, endorphins and oxytocin in to your system when you have an affair with your Ex, set you up with a killer cocktail that feels Ooooh-Soooo-Gooood!  But, it’s like that ice cream sundae, with extra whip cream on top, that you know is not on your diet…it sure tasted good going down but now you’re

Read more